September 30, 2025
A lot has changed since we got married, but our love is stronger and deeper after walking through the mountains and valleys together. This anniversary hits differently and I’m grateful we get to celebrate another year together.
Marriage is full of surprises. My best-made plans are rarely the plans God has made for us. His ways are higher than ours. We are far from perfect, but here are 20 things I’ve learned in 20 years of marriage…
1. Give grace often- remembering the grace shown to us through the love of our Savior. I married way better than I deserved.
2. Thank your spouse often- for the little things and for the big things.
3. Pray for your spouse daily.
4. Remember that you are on the same team. It’s not a competition.
5. Compliment and Affirm your spouse publicly.
6. Date and pursue each other regularly.
7. If you ask for help, be grateful for the help received- even if it’s not “my way” of doing things. Humility goes along way.
8. Learn to laugh at the hard things of life together and find the silver lining.
9. Put your phone down and make eye contact as if he/or she is the most important person in the room.
10. Spouses aren’t mind readers. It is important to communicate.
11. Keeping God in the center of our marriage.
12. Sometimes you just have to trust your spouse’s knowledge. You don’t always have to be right or have the last word.
13. Dedicate the first fruits of your income to God through tithing. This act of faithfulness will open doors and blessings beyond measure. It’s a profound expression of trust in God’s provision.
14. Say “I’m Sorry” Often: Recognize that disagreements happen. Learn to apologize sincerely, whether you are at fault or not. It’s a powerful act of humility and reconciliation that can mend the smallest and greatest of wounds.
15. Say “I love you often”
16. Don’t go to bed angry with each other. One of the few pieces of advice that we grabbed onto early in our marriage was from Ephesians 4:26, Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. We have stuck to that piece of advice…even when it meant staying up late to have a difficult conversation…and it has kept our marriage from a lot of misunderstanding and bitterness.
17. Learn to appreciate your differences. Try to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
18. Learn about each other’s love languages.
19. Celebrate your anniversary. Take trips together without the kids.
20. Read a marriage book together. I highly suggest The four laws of love by Jimmy Evans. This book taught us how to strengthen our marriage and thrive in it.
In conclusion, marriage is a beautiful journey that requires faith, love, and a lot of grace. May these tips help you grow in love, unity, and the favor and blessings of a God-centered marriage.
“We love each other because he loved us first.”
1 John 4:19
With love,
Alexa
